I have a similar thing right now. My marreid friend has flirted with me for months, blushing around me, following me, staring, and more. I have very strong feelings for him, and one day I think he does for me, the next I am confused. I have also watched him flirting around with someone else at work, and it hurts a lot, you never know if the attention he gives you is sincere or not. I think this kind of man just likes the attention from women in general and it feels good to him because he needs to know `he could if he wanted to` and it probably makes his day at work go faster and gives him an ego boost. You can`t blame him can you! He is probably doing exactly the same thing to the other woman he likes as well, she may even be feeling the same confusion as you are! This behaviour makes it difficult for you to ask him outright, because you do not want to be rejected as neurotic. There is probably something not quite right at home for him and this is why he does it. I know this doesn`t help when you have developed feelings for someone (I am in turmoil right now) one day I think he means it, the next day I feel he is playing with my feelings just for the attention. It makes going to work very hard,and the best thing to do is to try and back off. I have read countless sites for help and advice myself, because I can`t talk to anyone about it. I feel that if a man has any true feelings for you, even as a good friend, married or not, he will tell you or let you know in a way which is not confusing. If he hasn`t, but knows you like him, he should be honest and tell you that he likes you but does not feel he can `go there` He should not give you false hope and keep you hanging on for his own gain (that is downright cruel) anyone who respected you would not want to be cruel to you! Please don`t think that because he eyes you up, touches you, or tries to build a connection with you that he is saying he has feelings for you, he is not! He is trying to attract your attention for a reason but not necessarily that he wants an affair with you or thinks you are special he has just picked up that you are receptive to it. If a man, married or not has any real feelings for you, he will not want to eye, touch, or flirt with anyone else especially in your line of vision. If he has a crush on, or has told you he likes another woman, then he means he likes her, he would not tell you that if it was you he fancied. Unfortunately, I`m afraid that he does not have the guts to tell you he is not that into you. He is keeping you hanging on because he likes the attention and ego boost that you give him. Don`t fool yourself into thinking that he does not want to hurt your feelings, he just does not want you to stop idolising him! This kind of man will probably make comments about you being patient, this gives you the feeling that he is just building up the courage to tell you how he feels (don`t listen to it) For your own sanity, you need to back away from him, he is feeding off your attention, has picked up that you fancy him, and is using it for his own advantage. Married men usually only cheat if they are truly unhappy at home or if they `truly` meet a lady who he really falls for, and so if he really falls for her, he will not flaunt himself at another woman in her presence, he would respect her and want her to feel that respect. If this guy is doing this to you, he does not respect you, he is playing parlour games with you. Please read the site on here `commitment` ambivilent parlour games` I feel for you, I really do, it is awful having these feelings for someone you shouldn`t have anyway, but it really does hurt when you have to see them a lot. Please take care of yourself

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My case is totally different. This man and I have a common friend in the military academy. We met after we debated on facebook through our common friend`s wall post. Since then, we had been constantly emailing for about a month everyday. He would write very longggg replies to my long emails,,, then chat every time he has break times. We sort of felt that we share a lot of good conversation and we share the same dreams in life. It was already very clear that we were like emotionally attached. He would wake up at 3am and then write to me, reporting his plan for the day.. and then I would wake up at 6am replying. then he would come at 8am, chat with me, then come again at 7pm until night time just chatting and commenting on my wall posts.. we just enjoy chatting and sharing many things. He sort of like my intelligent ideas and I also made it clear that I like him the same way. He tried asking me for my number but since I wanna know if he is really, I told him that he must ask for it from our common friend. He told me he won`t since he doesn`t want his buddies to tease him. He feels uncomfortable with it. He told me that he likes me so much and he is happy whenever we would chat. I am sure it was not a bluff since it shows with the way he chats. I also made a poem for him and he was sooo glad about it saying that I am making his heart pop. but after we had debates that ended up bad, since he can be tactless sometimes. He knew he hurted my feelings and he apologized. It was sincere I`m sure for he was so happy when my cousin (who is also his friend in facebook) told him to talk to me and that I am not upset anymore. He was so elated and he sent me a message immediately after getting that message from my cousin. But when we chatted, he was a little aloof. He said sorry in our chat. But after I told him that I have forgiven him and that I perfectly understand him. He said thank you. But he did not message me nor replied to my emails anymore. I knew he checks on my facebook page because he would click like to my wall posts. but NEVER give any reply. until after a month.. he sent a message saying sorry that he was not able to reply to me because he was troubled and not in the mood. Then after I posted messages in my wall about HOW SOME MEN AVOID WOMEN WHO LIKES THEM BECAUSE OF FEAR OF REJECTION.. he started posting replies in his wall saying that WOMEN ARE ONLY AFTER MONEY. But after I posted again a status message using Lady Gaga`s Bad Romance lyrics " and u know that I want you, and U know that I need you. I want it bad. bad romance."... he posted (10mins after I posted mine) "and I cannot bear not having you with me... it feels like I`m a man walking without a soul when you are not here". then after that... HE NEVER CAME ONLINE ANYMORE. two days ago, he came online, but as far as I can notice.. He only clicked LIKE in his friends comment about that status message he posted... and he replied a rather very short message to my email.. I sent him an email telling him I like the new photos he posted and I miss him and I wish him luck. THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS! :-( somebody help... how can I be at peace... please... huhuhu

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Yes, once they are comfortable with you, and do not think you will hurt them. It will take time, but if you are patient you may get a wonderful reward.

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Why does a man want to be just friends, no longterm?

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Every person is different. I developed feelings, but I cannot separate myself from my feelings and just have "sex". I had only been with two people in my life when I had my affair, my first girlfriend, who I had married very young, and my current wife. I quickly fell for the woman I had the affair with. As I said, I cannot just have physical intercourse. Really, we were not designed for that, but sex was actually designed to be withing the context of an intimate, meaningful, caring relationship. In light of that, I feel sorry for those who have reduced it to a meaningless physical act, nothing more than masturbation with another person. With that in mind, it did make the affair that much more difficult on all parties, and that much more difficult to get out of. It lasted nearly two years, though we broke up several times during that period. The best policy if to always be on your guard and do everything possible to protect your marriage, integrity, and the trust between yourself and your spouse.

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To be honest, they are probably just scared. Scared of what the women would say if she knew what his intentions and feelings were. Scared of rejection. Scared of humiliation. All these factors could play a big role in determining whether he denies his feelings or expresses them :)

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Yes, especially if he is the shy type and can`t express his feelings. He may also be under stress or something.

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For your own sanity you need to back away from this man especially if you know for sure that he likes someone else! The fact that he is married is bad enough on its own. If he is flirting with you at all, giving you reasons to believe that you are special to him, he may be doing exactly the same thing with her as well when you are not around. If he has told you that he likes her, then he does not see you as a potential affair (not one with feelings anyway) Men do not tell an interested woman that they like someone else if they have feelings for her, they may say they like someone and give a desription of your similarities but they will not say they like someone else in particular. If you have seen signs that he likes her and it is obvious, do not let him sweet talk you into believing he has feelings for you. Some married men just crave attention from women, and will flirt to gain the desired effect, also some men are very clever at it! It is no good for you whatsoever to carry a torch for this married man any way, but in this situation it is pointless, you are hurting already and confused. If he really likes another lady, he will treat her differently to normal flirting. He will be very respectful to her, look at her differently, admire her, and there will be an obvious change in him when she is around. He will be helpful to her, value her opinions and hang on to her every word. His manners will be well practised. Also he will watch her whenever he can, he won`t be able to help himself. If you have noticed any of this with the other lady, then take it that it is her he likes (in that way) and for your own good back away from the situation.You will never know in your heart if he has any real feelings for you or the other one. You do not need any further hurt!! I hope this helps. Your gut instinct will tell you if he likes her anyway, you would have seen him watching her or felt some chemistry between them!. Please try to stay away from him, he has hurt you already by letting you believe he likes another lady (even if you have only seen it) and that is not a nice thing to do especially if he knows that you like him. Don`t feed his ego any longer, look for someone who makes you feel good, not hurt and confused.

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he must be always starin at u..will try to talk to u...he wont miss any chance to get contacted with u etc etc..

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I`m looking for an answer sumbody...anybody?????

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