maybe he isnt cheating is there any suspect behaviors

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Yes, especially if he saw his wife improved a lot. I saw lots of break-ups among my married friends, and they usually regret it in the end. Most of the time, mistresses are gold diggers so cheating husbands are losing their hard-earned money with them. Left out wives also tend to improve themselves so they can show what their husbands have lost in exchange of their mistresses.

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Someone said: Many years ago my husband left me and five minor children for a series of so called "LADY FRIENDS" the children were 7,10, 13,14. 15. he told mw to grow up and face raiseing them by my self, (of course he was all grown up to abandon his family) well I did raise them by my self and they turned out to be five wonderful adults to be very proud of. Now he is an old man, his last lady friend nee wife has died of cancer, and now he hasn't seen his children in over 25 years. Hasn't seen his 17 grand children or 21 great grandchildren. So he just didn't abandoned the six of us but all 42 direct decendents. Dos' any one think that any of them will miss him when he passes away? Wll any one care? The love and respect thier mother very much and are extreamly helpful to me. I now feel blessed.

Someone said: I am the apple of my man's eye. He has never regretted leaving his wife to be with me. She has turned herself inside out to get him back but she cannot undo all the years that she didn't care and put no effort into keeping the marriage alive and thriving. I look better, I earn more than him, I'm more educated than her, and I'm just a nicer person who appreciates the wonderful man he is. She never did. Just consider that a piece of paper doesn't guarantee automatic happiness. You have to make your own and EVERY relationship requires constant nurturing. if you cannot nurture your spouse and put a lot of energy into making a strong marriage don't expect someone who is to stick around. Again, every situation is different, but my guy left his wife because he fell in love with me and I with him. He has never regretted it and never looked back. We are very happy and i am NO GOLD DIGGER!

Someone said: Wow you tell them!

Someone said: You may not be a gold digger but you are a home wrecker! Why couldn't you find yourself a single man?

reneehannum said: No you are a person who should of stayed out of a marriage that had trouble. You probably caused more trouble where it wasn't needed, you may not be a so called Gold Digger, but there are other names for you.

Someone said: My ex husband was going through midlife crisis when he left our marriage for another woman. Never in my life have I seen such a sad person. For the longest he asked to come home. He broke every promise we had made to one another so I did not reconsider. I think I was too hurt. He married the other woman, who by the way is 21 years younger than him. The few times we have ran into each other he looks so sad and tired. During our marriage if he had appeared the way I see him now, I would have been deeply concerned and would have taken him to the doctor.

Someone said: Yes, every situation is different! My husband left me after 25 years of marriage. i loved him, nurtured our relationship, did everything I could do make him happy. He always told me he was very happy and looked down on anyone who had affairs and left their familiies. In walks an unmarried woman who can seek out other unmarried people to have a relationship with, but instead pursues mine. She starts texting him and sending emails. I am not blaming her completely, since he was the one who was married and supposedly committed. It just angers me that there are people who justify their cheating behavior, whether they are the cheating spouse or the other man or woman, by blaming the faithful spouse. If you sre unhappy in your marriage it is your responsibility to communicate this to your spouse so that your unhappiness and needs can be addressed. As far as the "you fell in love" excuse, first you should not open yourself up to feelings for another person's spouse by having personal conversations and situations that will lend itself ton having

Someone said: Sorry for the interruption of my response. As far as the "you fell in love" excuse, first you should not open yourself up to feelings for another person's spouse by having personal conversations and putting yourself in situations that will lend itself to having an intimate relationship. Decisions are made that allow the relationship to develop into the affair. A "nice" person would not have encouraged a married person to have a relationship with them. They would have told them to tend to their marriage first and come back after they are divorced. We have two daughters who were 5 and 17 at the time (they are now 8 and 20). My 17 year old discovered the affair and will probably always have problems with trust in her future relationships. My 5 year old asks, "When you get married isn't that a pinky promise?" He left less than a month after my mother passed away suddenly and a month before my older daughter's graduation stating, "There's never going to be a good time.". Both of my girls were very close to my mom and the double loss was very, very difficult. i have not been mean or bitter and try everything in my power to help heal the relationship between my ex and his daughters, but he just can't see beyond his own needs and immediate pleasure. Now he is moving to a city 9 hours away with the other woman and doesn't think this will affect our daughters. Midlife can send someone reeling into a world of extreme emotions, and possible bad decisions. I believe that many people would not leave their spouses and families if there were no other people willing to engage in the illicit behavior with them. They need to prove to themselves that they could have someone else before they would leave. They would not do it without this "guarantee." It is a coward's way out. A brave soul would communicate his or her issues to their spouse and put their energies into their marriage and families, not a new relationship. Yes, each situation is different but each situation is also the same. It always involves lies, deceit and someone who could have said, "You are married. Talk to me after the divorced papers are signed."

Someone said: My husband divorced his wife of 22 years after meeint me because he realized he had sacrificed his happiness for his kids to put his family first. He has done his job and more, but he does not owe his ex-wife the rest of his life. Now finally at the age of 44, he is starting to find what a partner is and not a lazy, obese wife that does nothing to contribute to the household. He was deeply depressed but hid it well when we first met and became friends. He is the most loving person I have ever met. Sometimes, spouses take their husbands for granted because they think they "possess them." The lesson I've learned is that we all have free will, and if you don't love your spouse, somebody else will. I never take a day for granted with him.

First you need to know if your husband really wants to be with you. You must first have a serious discussion with him. If he seems to still want this marriage then......Yes you can stay with him. Pray for your husbands ladies. Put him in the Lord`s hands and leave him there. Afterwards, you must stop worrying every time he leaves the home or if he`s doing something that appears to be deceiving. It`s time to put all that focus and energy worrying about your husband on the Lord. God wants to be first in your life. After you pray for your husband give the lord time to make and mold him into the man your husband is supposed to be. The change won`t happen over night. You must have patience and trust in the Lord that he will answer your prayers. If you begin to entertain negative thoughts that the devil will put in your head and have doubts, then you are just stopping your blessing from comming your way. You must have 100% full faith in the power that the Lord has to make this miracle happen for you. The Lord loves all you faithful wives for being strong and faithful servants for Him. Wives when Satan comes at you with negative thoughts rebuke the devil. Tell Satan he is a liar and that you will suffer for the Lord like all us Christian woman do. And as your going through the storm, no matter how long the storm lasts you`ll see slow changes in him. You see you`re not being a doormat you`re serving the Lord with Joy in your soul. It`s not your husbands who you all are at war with. This is a spiritual war; and you ladies are going though a test. While your waiting on the Lord to work this miracle on your husband, continent to treat your husband good the way the bible tought us wives. And watch as every good thing your husband does for you, will be a blessing comming to you from the Lord. Thank the Lord with all your heart and soul for every blessing. If you stand strong you will receive all your blessing that you`ve earned in the end. I don`t know specifically what you particular blessings will be, but the Lord can`t wait to give them to you, along with the ones he`s giving to you now.

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anonymous said: I have been struggling a lot at first to keep my faith after praying for my husband. I was feeling crazy at first like an up and down yoyo. But I continued to pray and grow in my faith. I asked the lord everyday for strength to suffer through the storm. Things are nor perfect but, I'm beginning to see some changes in my husband, I'm also keeping the lines of communication open with him. I see the small changes in him and he's starting to show that he cares for me again. Thank you so much for your advice.. What if the woman had kids with her husband? can she really just go and leave the father? your advice is helpful but do u think mabey you can give more detail with it? how do u explain to a child that mommy and daddy are divorcing?. What if you love this man deeply but he wont stop cheating?. If there are kids invoved then you have to really think hard on your decision. It's no ones buisness to tell you what to do. Weigh your pros and cons. Meditate and find out what the Lord's Will is for you and your marriage. I have never been able to think of an easy way to tell kids that their parents are divorcing. Depending on the child this could be life shattering for him or her. If you decide to devorce, be very gentle with breaking the news to the children. Just be careful in choosing your words. You know your children better than anyone. You and your children can recieve counseling to help get through it. I would suggest that you get it through your church. And I also suggest that you and your husband, if seperated give the children more love and attention than you ever have before. I'm sorry but I don't believe that there is any easy way to break news like divorce to children. But I will pray for the very best for you and your family.. To answer the question what if you love this man deeply but he wont stop cheating? First you need to dig deep and find out if you really want to stay with him. Then you need to find out if he truely wants to be with you. That's the first step, because it's a waist of both of your time if one person doesn't really want this. Marriage is hard work once someone's trust has been betrayed. Are the two of you willing to go the extra mile in hopes of restoring your marriage? If not then it may already be over. If you both really want this and is ready to make some real sacrafices then you can do this with help.. How about if you catch him texting some girl? Like do you approach him or the girl?. Your advice really does come in handy. You are a regular dr. phil!!. Yes i agree. A very intelligent dr. phil.. What would i do if i was the 1 cheating?. If he's caught texting, deal with him. He's the main source of that problem.. If you are the one cheating, then you need to dig deep within to find out why you feel a need to cheat. And deal with those issues. I believe that if you knew the deep psychological damage that you are doing to yourself, you may desire to find a healthier way to deal with your issues other than cheating. The day you said your marriage vows, you became one with your spouse. When you cheat you break that special bond and become one with whom you're cheating with while continuing to live in sin. this cheating also lowers your self-esteem and self-respect.. Is their a way to find out if he is even cheating? im curious if he is but i just dont know how to find out.. People need this advice and i think that u r a very good person on giving advice to others in their relationships. it would be nice if you responded a little faster.. Okay. she doesnt have to respond too quickly. th is woman is giving wonderful advice to women who cares.. If there's anything going on with your husband, then anything in the closet will be revealed in time. If your just curious then it could be just your own insecurities that you need to work on. Word of advice... don't go looking for something that's not there. And be carefull not to accuse him of anything without proof.

Someone said: 2011....for my new years resolution i want to stop cheating on my wife. what should i do? should i tell her?

Someone said: dec.7.2010, im haveing a crisis and the whole praying thing isnt working for me. its like he doesnt want to be with me but i love him. what should i do?

Someone said: i love this column! its awesome! question: are you married? if so are you happily married?

Someone said: Is there really a god out there to help me oout with men? ive had problems fro years and im ready to give up.

Someone said: A response to the cheating husband: It's always best to be open and honest with your spouse. But your taking a chance because she just may leave you. Maybe you could suggest that you two get christian counseling. It's much more effective than ordinary counseling. If you really want to change, please stop cheating no. Whether you decide to tell her or not, that decision will be totally up to you.

Someone said: A response to the person having a crisis with praying: You must have Full 100% Faith while praying and then give the Lord time to work on it. Don't loose your faith. Get help with keeping it. Talk to someone, if possible another christian who can inspire you. The very best advice for handling someone who doesn't want you. Let them go because you will be able to avoid a whole lot of pain. Love yourself enough to want to be with someone who wants to be with you just the same. Remember, the person has to want you just as much in order for it to work. Otherwise you're waisting presious time. May God Bless You.

Someone said: Yes I am married. I'm happily married because the Lord gave me joy that no one can take away. Every marriage has it's own problems. The key is how you handle those problems just like in life. You have the choice to live a positive happy life or a negative miserable one. The Lord helps me with all my problems, simply because when I pray I keep the faith. Then I see slow positive changes over time. I also praise God all day, and pray 3 to 6 times a day. These things keep you close to the Lord so that you can keep Him happy, and of course He keeps you happy. Remember to praise the Lord because He deserves it.

Someone said: A response to the one with men problems. It seems that if your having major problems in a certain area, that maybe it's time you leave it alone for a while. I would bet that it's causing problems in other areas of your life also. And yes there is a god out there to help you with men. But you have to get YOU together first. Put God first because he's a jealous God who does everything for you 247. Then, take 100% complete care of yourself while maintaining a healthy relationship with the Lord. Then not over night but in the near future the Lord will bless you with the right person. Have faith and take care of YOURSELF!

Someone said: Im responding to the faith in the lord thing....i have faith but god just not there....any other advice....o and btw im muslim soo.......

Someone said: o sorry i didnt mean to reply i meant to post a comment....my thing was the one above mine...im muslim....tahnx...please respond soon...

Someone said: Believing in God is faith. If you don't have faith, you can't believe in God. He is right there next to you just waiting for you to accept Him and trust Him. Stop doubting Him.

Someone said: For the Muslim, There was a time when all people were going to hell because of thier sins. Jesus went through all the pain and suffering on the cross for us cause he loves us so much. God sent his only begotten son in order for all us sinners to be able to make it to heaven. It seems like no one cares. We need to stop taking this real kind of love for granted. Believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again on the third day. No prophet can do this, only the true son of God can.

Reuel said: you are a christian do not just go and marry any man dude!!!!!

there`s many ways to handle that situation. i suggest that you save your own face. just do what you feel is right. everyone knows (or will come to know) them for what they really are. sooner or later that relationship will fall apart due to the fact that it was build on deceit & secresy. you shouldn`t worry for that.

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yes she needs talaq from husband

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It could but you cant jump to conclusions.

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That your marriage is at its end.

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jamesrogel said: he may just need some space. he loves you or he would not have married you so. he probley just wants to have some deffined space to fill him self out . if he is an artist or has a hobbi this might explain it or mabe you guys are polor opposites ,if you were you would know . you like diffrent things like my wife likes to watch tv all night i like to read thus we need some space. be worried when he moves out of the house good luck ladie

hes hiding what the other person has said

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I love my husband but he has became very jealous he accuses me of stuff.So oneday I went to his family and told him to divorce me so they acually went to sheik and all I wanted to do was talk I loved him so much and he loved me so much, right then and there he was like oh this is what you want he had me on speaker i said yes and he repeated those words the sheik said and my heart dropped so then after that he came back to me I took him back because I was in love and so was he But did the divorce acually count ?

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Get a new husband.

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For a Christmas card for your husband, just write down how grateful you are to have him as your husband and wish him what he wants for Christmas. The wish should not be materialistic like good health, long life and a happy family. Everything that you will write down must be personal, so he could appreciate it well.

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